Personal Space - Use Your Personal Space Wisely

We lay claim to our personal space. Our own space is precious too us. It is essential for our well being. It is essential to our personal integrity. Our space is important to us in all aspects of our lives. It is our personal and invisible boundary through which 'intruders' are not welcome.

What is our personal space?

We view our space as a part of us. It is a part of what we call our self. It gives us a feeling of security. It gives us the 'space' to breathe. It keeps others away from us, keeps them at a distance. It allows us to live.

In a way our space gives us a no-go zone. It gives us a way to keep other people at bay. It can keep us safe and secure in the world. It enables us to operate in the world. It allows us comfort in our life. It give us a comfort space in our life.

So what is this space?

You cannot see it but it is there. Because you cannot see it does not make it any less real or necessary. It is there for all of us. We each have our own version. We don't share it with others. We treasure it, and treasure it very highly. Yet at times we are not aware of it or of its significance.

How can we describe 'our space'?

  • It is our invisible 'comfort zone'
  • It is ours and aligned to us
  • It has breadth and capacity but no substance
  • It gives a margin to keep things out and away from us
  • It gives our own territory but has no taxes
  • It might appear to be a void but is important in its own right
  • It is just there - but it has its own laws i.e. those we give it
  • It can expand or contract according to the situation
  • It is our final refuge when all other barriers are down

And its uses

Why do we treasure and use our personal space? What purpose does it fill?

  • It allows us to function in our life, in our world
  • Those people we don't want too close to us, we keep away and at a safe distance
  • Those people we are comfortable with, those we trust, we allow to challenge and bypass our personal space

Those who get close to us . . .

Those people who we let get close to us are special people - to us. They are very special to us to let them into our space. They are those people we

  • Trust - up close and personal
  • Honor - by letting them gain access to our 'inner' sanctum
  • Feel will be loyal to us and not abuse their position
  • Give permission to enter
  • Let into our closest territory

But what about any unauthorised invasion(s)?

If someone should 'invade' our personal space what should we do?

  • Sit tight and 'take it'
  • Sit back and enjoy the 'new' experience
  • Look at them imploring them to step back and away from us
  • Should we step back and away or would this make us appear weak and vulnerable
  • We could ask them to move back and away from us, but again show our discomfort
  • We can just move away to maintain a 'safe' (comfortable) distance between us and them

In this situation we have to let our natural instincts take hold and follow them. For if we start thinking about the situation we could worry unnecessarily or panic ourselves into doing something we would otherwise not want to do.

But this is dependent upon having the ability to affect the situation. If we caught in a lift, or squashed in a bus or train what can we really do. Often we cannot do a great deal.

In this 21st Century life we find ourselves living in, we find that personal space is more easily 'violated' than ever before. So it is something that we need to get used to.

Day to day life

So in day to day life we should learn to respect the personal space of other people, and hope that they respect ours. But from time to time we may find ourselves literally thrown together with another person, and temporarily we must suspend this particular element of our personal life.

What to do?

All we can really do is to let our instincts show us the way. Most of the time our personal space will be respected and there is nothing to worry about. On the odd occasion we may need to cope with having other people, outside our closest circle of friends and loved ones, within this our invisible comfort zone. We can then learn that this is not the end of the world. We can find that yet another string can be added to our bow, and we can be the stronger for the experience.

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