Self Acceptance - To Acknowledge, Honor And Approve of Yourself

Self acceptance is our way of looking out for ourselves. This is our way showing we approve of ourselves. We can seek acceptance from others but the real one that counts is accepting ourselves.

And do we accept ourselves?

We, as the saying goes, are often our own worst critic. We look at others and what they do and can judge and analyze all of that. We can do the same with ourselves. And who do you think we deal with more harshly - ourselves, of course.

Yet, why should we judge ourselves more severely than we judge others? Do we have a different set of values for ourselves, than for others? Do we have a different and easier set of criteria by which another person is scrutinized - yet we make ours far more stringent? Do we have a different set of standards for others than ourselves?

And why would that be?

Why would we wish to look at ourselves and the things we do in a different light than we would look at others? Do we

  • think that we are better than others and need to keep better standards - probably not
  • think that we are harder working than others - we may do or may not
  • think that the things we do are more important than the things others do - we may have that false opinion
  • act as if we should be more efficient than others - is that for us to say?
  • act as if we are more effective than others?
  • act as if we are more productive than others?
  • think and act differently from others?

These are questions and thoughts we could consider, think about and seek answers for.

Do we compare and contrast?

Do we spend too much time comparing and contrasting what we do and what others do? Is this what gets in the way of self acceptance?

  • what do we gain by trying to keep up with others?
  • what do we gain by seeking the approval of others while not dealing with ourselves fairly?
  • we should understand ourselves better and, if need be, spend more time on ourselves
  • we should give ourselves the time to relax and be ourselves
  • if need be we should tear up our comparison rule book and go back to basics
  • maybe we need to accept this is an area that needs development and growth - as it is for most people - and put the time and effort in
  • perhaps we are too close at hand and cannot see the wood for the trees
  • perhaps we have not thought this way before and we are now realizing its importance in our life

Is there the other extreme - too much self acceptance?

Can we accept and approve of ourselves too much? If we do take it to extremes then yes, too much is too much, otherwise keep it real, keep it healthy, use your common sense and all will be well.

Too much approval or acceptance could lead to arrogance and the thought that we can do no wrong. This may be our fear. But we need to over boost our ego for this situation to happen. And life tends to bring us down a step or two anyway.

Then we can disapprove of ourselves but keep it hidden. It can be lost in our overbearing or selfish attitude or manner. The likelihood is that life if not our friends will let us know when this danger lurks for us. Bringing us back to reality can be another learning curve in life.

The aim is a healthy acceptance that allows a comfortable and satisfying life. This is a life where we should give as well as take. We should share as well as achieve. And we can share the rewards and benefits, too.

And what if we don't accept ourselves?

What are the repercussions of failing to accept ourselves?

  • our self confidence is likely to be low
  • our self esteem is likely to be in need of a lift
  • we are probably poorly motivated to act in life
  • we probably are poorly disciplined and lack control in our life
  • we are unlikely to set goals for the challenges and hurdles they may represent
  • our self development may falter as we don't feel worthy enough of achievement
  • our sense of self worth and our self image will suffer
  • our behavior will reflect our outlook
  • we won't be managing our life very well
  • our personality and persona may well be hidden beneath our layer of self doubt
  • our growth and improvement may end up on the back burner
  • basically we can suffer at our own hand - and we may wonder why

How to get out of this cycle?

What can we do to instill in us a healthy feeling of self acceptance?

  • we should remove ourselves from negative talk and actions
  • we should talk to ourselves positively
  • we should start seeing the good in ourselves
  • we should start to visualize ourselves in a positive and healthy light
  • we should be less hard on ourselves
  • we should judge ourselves less
  • we should look at ourselves realistically and fairly - and not expect more from ourselves than we would reasonably expect from others
  • we should be willing to praise ourselves
  • we should seek help from trusted friends or confidants
  • we should . . .

Any of these on their own will help. But a concerted effort may be required. And it may take time.

The process

Going from poor self acceptance to a healthy state of accepting ourselves may not be like a water tap that we can turn on and the water just comes out. It is more likely that we need to release ourselves from our straight-jacket of lack of self acceptance.

It may be a step by step process and one that takes time and effort on our part.

We should accept ourselves

  • If we don't accept ourselves who will?
  • we should acknowledge ourselves for the qualities we have
  • we should admit to ourselves that we are worthy of acceptance
  • we should approve of ourselves
  • we should honor ourselves and treat ourselves accordingly
  • we should respect ourselves for who we are and what we do

We should not just tolerate ourselves but go much further until we have a healthy state of self approval

Moving on to the benefits of self acceptance . . .

Once we get on top of self acceptance, we can just live and not worry about this aspect of life. Acceptance is a natural thing.

Yes, we human beings love to question but there is no need to take it too far. It is our right to be proud of ourselves and approve of ourselves and accept ourselves.

This is our right but we have to earn it. It won't be there on a plate for us to snack on whenever we wish. Effort is required. We need to be thoughtful in word, thought and deed. We need to think of others as well as ourselves. If we do why should we not accept ourselves and the live the life we wish to lead?

Let us not make a problem where none need exist.

And the life we can live?

Self acceptance is not a huge hurdle. Once we let go and allow ourselves to feel comfortable just being us then a weight can be removed from our shoulders. We can start living a good and wholesome life.

We can live a life free from the restraints of lack of self approval. A life in which we can enjoy ourselves and achieve our dreams and goals while at the same time contributing to others and the world we live in.