Self Criticism - A Curse We Can Understand, Minimize And Avoid

Self criticism drags us down. Recognize its nature, hinder its actions, remove its influences. When we define self esteem in our lives we can make self esteem boosting a natural and daily occurrence.

Self-criticism can be a temporary resident, or an ever present influence, or seen for what it is and fended off. Learn how to take criticism and bounce back for any fool can criticize themselves. Don't be that fool to yourself.

After all if we (start to or regularly) disapprove of ourselves, our life, our actions, how we feel, how we live, then this hardly aids us in our choice of living an enjoyable and satisfying life. On the contrary, we need to boost self esteem, know how to build self confidence, have a natural and good level of self acceptance and respect - and basically feel good about ourselves and the things that we think and do.

Any fool can criticize (ourselves)

A little time spent looking more closely at self-criticism repays us many times over.

As is said, a little knowledge goes a long way. To criticize oneself is so easy but we can change and knowing what occurs and how it can occur is part of the battle. Knowing that we are (and how we are) criticizing ourselves and able to step back and see the signs. This gives us a chance, gives us an opportunity to break the cycle. And then to move on in our life. To make a difference in our life.

And the penalty for/of self criticism is that we are robbed. We let ourselves be robbed.

We lose so much that could rightfully be ours. We perform to a lower level than we could otherwise manage. We achieve less than we ought to accomplish. We act less than we might. We live a little less than we should. We are a lesser person than is our heritage, our right.

Learn how to take criticism

We can live a life free of self criticism but the road to it may prove arduous and difficult. Criticizing oneself is common. We all do it, but to different degrees. If we can handle it positively then it can be turned into a force of good to change things, to change us. For example, 'Oh why did you do that, you idiot'. These enunciations may help us realize that we have made a mistake. If we then learn from it and move on then that is fine and helpful.

However, it can become a bad habit, our being self critical. When it repeats itself it can be one of the causes of low self esteem. When it goes on and on. Repeating itself. Repeating itself over and over. Then the signs of trouble are upon us. The low self esteem signs can be there; we need to recognize that downward spiral and stop it, with help and assistance if required.

And this bombardment comes from outside of us, as well as this internal assault. It seems that we are besieged, attacked from all sides. And what do we believe? Do we believe what we say? Do we believe what others say to us, about us? (And do we know that they are being self critical, too. We are not the only ones. It happens to others, too.)

What do they say? Is it complimentary? Is it derogatory? Do others appreciate our efforts or do they not think too much of them? Do you hear good about you coming from their mouths? Or, does most of it seem to be critical of you or your performance? Does this mirror what you say? In fact is your attitude to yourself the thing that seems to instigate this reaction in other people?

Accepting criticism

Our being self-critical is a situation that can get out of hand. this self criticism comes in many disguises. Tackling us from many angles, and from many different directions. For many reasons. For many purposes …

• We can blame ourselves unnecessarily for spoilt or ineffective actions
• We can disapprove of our attempts to wrench ourselves away from a situation, fearing another debacle
• We can criticize ourselves for failing
• We can judge ourselves too harshly
• We can reproach ourselves for even simple acts
• We can 'carp on' at life, when life does not seem to be going our way
• We can 'abuse' ourselves verbally at any time of the day (or night)

And we can hate ourselves for being 'this way', falling prey to self criticism.

And where is this aspect of ourselves, where did it come from? Does it really exist? Is it a figment of our imagination? Is it based in reality? Where is it going when it goes? Does it have to tarnish our life? Why do we fall prey to it?

Lack of self esteem boosting?!

Why do we so easily fall prey to self criticism?

Because it is so elusive? Hard to get a grasp on. This criticism tackles us but in a quiet insidious way. All of which makes our attempts to minimize it and remove it from our lives that little bit more difficult. But let us look at these examples more closely. Let's take the examples from the last paragraph and review them.

• We can blame ourselves unnecessarily for spoilt or ineffective actions - we all make mistakes or don't bring home the prize in all endeavors
• We can disapprove of our attempts to wrench ourselves away from a situation, fearing another debacle - fearing of ghosts clouds any issue
• We can criticize ourselves for failing - in our own eyes
• We can judge ourselves too harshly - out of proportion to the act
• We can reproach ourselves for even simple acts - being so hard on ourselves
• We can 'carp on' at life, when life does not seem to be going our way - and wonder why life is so hard, difficult and uncertain
• We can 'abuse' ourselves verbally at any time of the day (or night) - it is so easy, we are so close to 'this action', and it affects so

We can deplore ourselves for being so affected.

And this affects our self image, can be a cause of low self esteem, knocks our feelings of self respect, and hits our self confidence and the ways we tackle life.

Define self esteem

What is self esteem? But what does it boil down to? And it likely a combination of things, not just one …
When we lack self esteem we can fall prey to any of the following, or any of them in any combination:

• Poor self image
• Low self confidence
• Lack of self motivation
• Not setting goals for fear of reaching them or for fear of not reaching them
• Having a personality that does not shine - it is losing or lost its sheen
• We behave less well than we should
• Our values and principles pay less prominence in our life
• We have less interest in managing our affairs

Our outlook is less positive than it should be were we to have good self esteem and self confidence. Self criticism can have many masks.

Putting self-criticism in its place

Is there a remedy for this spate of self criticism that we can fall prey to? What can be done? What can we do?

• We should view ourselves in a different light - a new light, be less hard on ourselves, be lighter in our attitude to life and what we do, how we act, how we are, and let ourselves be - be ourselves and give ourselves time
• We need to more positive about ourselves and our contribution to life - our self talk, our self criticism is negative, and this needs to be replaced by the positive, positive self talk, positive affirmations, the positive needs to reign supreme in our life
• We should pay less attention to what we say about ourselves - it will happen, but we should pay less attention, believe it less and not get overly swayed by it
• We should pay less attention to what others say about us - they have their opinion and they are entitled to that; but if it does not go along with our own way of thinking then we should believe our own version first, but be aware that we might not be right, or that we may not have all the facts before us
• We should visualize the (our) present and the (our) future, a new perspective for ourselves - visualization is a positive step, a positive act; we can start to see our present and future in a different light, in a new light; no clouds now, no fog now, clear as a summers day, clear of the negative; or we can become less easy prey, or at least let it occur on a less irregular basis and learn how to better shake the effects off

But we can fight back . . .

We need to learn to see (hear?) this enemy in our midst. Learn its antics. Be aware of its insidious nature. Its creeping skills. Its unforgiving nature.

And if we do learn the rules we can (start to) shake off the effects of self criticism and live a life free of this negative and debilitating influence. Live our life as it was intended without shackles or hindrance. Allow ourselves to enjoy life to the full.

for another view of the subject of accepting criticism please follow this link

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