Personality - Is What We Show ALL There Is To Us?

Our personality. Us. Our very self.

Are we our persona or is there more to it, more to us? Are things that simple? What makes up our persona?

A definition of our persona?

Can we define our persona? What theory do we buy into? There are lots of theories and one could say as many as there are personalities. But what does our persona consist of - what do we consist of?

  • Our experience in life
  • Our behavior or our attitudes
  • Our ego and our psyche
  • Our sense of humor
  • Our identity and our nature
  • Our temperament or our emotions
  • Our character or our traits
  • Our charisma or our likeability
  • (Amongst many other things)

These all have a bearing on our life. They can impact on us and on our personality. Some are elements of our persona itself. It is often seen as our character and our nature. But what we show to the world is only the half of it. Our persona is not just what we show to the world but also what we keep to ourselves. What we know about ourselves, that no one else knows, that helps to complete the story.

Personality essentials

We are all born with the same essential ingredients, yet we all turn out differently. We have our similarities and closeness to others, but also our differences. A lot of these things seem to be influenced by the outside, by the outer world. We are influenced by the people we meet and those we interact with. The places we go and the things we do. The experiences we have, the things we see, and the things we feel.

All these elements and more influence us and our life and the persona we exhibit. Our makeup, our personality, us, this is created by our life and all of its influences. How we tackle life, the decisions we make, the path we follow. And how they mould us comes down to our journey through life. Yes, our upbringing and where we live and the situations we are thrust into are definitely in the mix, but what we do with them all and our life that is down to us.

At the core . . .

But at our core are we not very much alike? Are we not born and made up of the same flesh and the blood? Do we not have the same makeup as others, though perhaps in different 'proportions'?

But we all have a heart. The blood flowing heart and also our 'real' heart - where our feelings reside. Are we not all capable of experiencing the life within? And is not this experience personal to each of us? After all we all have friends we share things with. But even if we share the same experience it is still uniquely ours.

We can enjoy the club night together, the football match, the tennis match, the movie, the opera, the car journey - we can enjoy these together with a friend or family member. But, though we may be sitting on adjacent chairs, we have our very own experience of 'x', don't we. It will have close similarities to the experience of our 'neighbour' and yet be our very own version of events.

We have our life and they have theirs. We have our personality, our personal makeup and they have theirs.

Do we choose our personality?

Well do we? Some do and some don't. By which I mean we have the power to choose, the power to act or not act, the chance to influence life or not. We have our choices and our life.

But I'm not really like this . . .

But what we exhibit to others, how we come across, how we act, whether we are liked or disliked, whether we fit in or do our own thing - all these things and more are up to each of us as individuals.

It may not always be that easy to change, we would all agree, but it is within our remit. We can change if we really want to. Many people have and they don't have anything that we don't have. There is no real secret to it. It may take hard work, firm resolve and much effort - but we can all change. If we don't like who we are, or what we represent, or the persona we show, or the personality we exhibit - then we should do something about it.

The blame game

But it is not my fault, we cry. We can feel it is not down to us. We can blame all manner of things, and believe them to be beyond our control.

  • We can blame ourselves - and this is particularly debilitating
  • We can blame others - known or unknown, for our misfortune and lack of or missed opportunities
  • We can blame the lack of this or that - and we can fill in the blanks
  • We can blame others for us not having opportunities, not being in the right place at the right time, not taking advantage of things when they come our way

Some or all of which we can carry around with us for a long, long time. This all helps to weigh us down, and weigh us down badly. We need to get rid of this baggage to really move on in our lives.

Is it down to circumstances?

We can blame life and our situation, and the way we are, and our personality, on circumstances. However, it is still our life and we are part of it, and a big part of it. We have made decisions, and continue to make decisions. We have acted and continue to take action (and not taking action is an action in itself . . .) All of this helps us to forge our way in our life. And we travel our own route through life itself. And we are at the helm.

What should we do?

This is our life. We have our own life. It is precious to us. We have our personality and this is precious to us also. Let us all make the most of it, our chance, and our life.

And a good place to start is right at home with us. Years ago now I noticed for myself that, though I was generally happy with my life, I seemed to be different people in different situations. With my parents I was one person, at work another, with friends yet another. As I walked through life I seemed to be different people depending upon the demands or the people I was with. The day I decided to be the same person in all of the 'different' parts of my life was the day perhaps I grew up - in the real sense of the word.

Taking responsibility

And taking and sticking to this decision - to be one person - was a definite turning point in my life. If you have not made the same decision yet in your life I would recommend you give it serious thought and consideration. What it boils down to, I guess, is taking responsibility (and not passing the buck - link to article in new window) for one's life, and our personality, our persona, is an important element of that.

Choose to be the person you want to be, and live the life you want to live, and you will naturally have the personality you really want, too.

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